Grandpa, I Now Feel Your Pain - January 18th 2024

January 18th 2024

Yuriy reflects on his grandfather's illness and the impact of war on his health, as he goes through a similar experience, and understands him now more deeply than ever.

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: fightingtherussianbeast@gmail.com   
You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family  
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy  

Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat 

TRANSCRIPT: (Podbean app users can enjoy closed captions)

  It's January 18. 

My grandfather passed away a few weeks before my 16th birthday. He was ill for a very long time. Honestly, I almost don't remember him being healthy. He was almost constantly in hospitals, and when he returned home, he usually felt unwell. He underwent multiple surgeries and his body was covered with scars from a scalpel. I remember in childhood when my grandfather was sent to hospital again. My parents and other adults would sadly talk about how the war had taken away all his health. 

My grandfather went through the Second World War. He fought, he was captured, but he returned home from the front unharmed. In childhood discussions about him being so sick because of the war seemed like nonsense to me. The war ended decades ago, and my grandfather came home without serious injuries. With legs and arms intact. How could the war take away his health? 

Now, I often recall my naivete, the lack of understanding of what war is capable of, even when bullets and shrapnel miss you. I see how difficult and dampness of a trenches affect even the strongest people, how nerves break in the bravest and how longing for home and family turns people into hysterics. War is truly a very difficult test that will not leave anyone the same as they were before. 

A few weeks ago I mentioned losing eight teeth since the beginning of the full scale invasion. Now it's nine recently lost another one. Stress destroys us in unexpected ways, and this is only what can be felt and seen now. I don't know what else in the body has been shattered and how and when it'll manifest itself, but it will manifest for sure. 

You know, my grandfather and I, we were very close. I was even named after him, but only now do I understand the trials he had to go through and why he had hardly left the hospitals in the last years of his life. Grandpa, I now feel your pain. I'm going for almost the same as you did. I really hope you are proud of me.